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I told myself a lot of times that I will never set foot inside a gym. It was because first, I don’t want my exercise to be mostly done with machines, second, I am a little bit scared of what the machines will do if I do not use it right, third, I don’t like the thought of sharing equipment, and lastly, I don’t want to be in a place where there are a lot of people, noise, and sweat whenever I want a peace of mind while exercising.
So this Wednesday morning, I forced myself to go to the gym. At first, I was doubting because there might be a lot of people but then I shrugged the shyness off. When I was about to change, I thought of making a little research on the equipment that I will be using which was the treadmill so I turned my laptop on and did my researching. It was controllable at first but then I made a mistake by logging in to my Facebook. Seriously, for a minute or so, the magic of internet got me under-spell and I almost didn’t go to the gym if I had not force myself to log off. So I dressed up and went to the gym immediately before I started having second thoughts. When I got there, I started panicking for I seriously don’t know how to use the treadmill (so much for researching). I fiddled around (but not too obvious for I don’t want the man running beside me thinking like I’m lost or something) until I finally got the machine working. Happiness! :) So I stepped in, synchronized my steps with the moving belt, and let myself listen to Katy Perry (Teenage Dream is actually a good song to jog to).
It took me a lot of courage to go to the gym and once I got inside, my perspective about the place changed. The gym is actually a good place to exercise (minus the sweat around you) if you want to have a peaceful exercise or you don’t feel like going outside. Plus, it’s also great when you live in a condominium or in a place where there’s no park nearby. So take up all the courage you have and try to visit the gym at least once or twice a week (and if you’re thinking of visiting only, please, use even just one equipment and you won’t regret it). Oh! And I got to tell you, doing a selfie in the gym is probably not a great idea unless if you’re so proud of your achievement like me. ;-)
how to adjust my body around the cool spots in bed,
the way my hair is never exactly right
when I leave the house for a hopeful second date,
the imprint of my bra on my skin after coming home
and letting my dress pool at my feet.
Missing you and missing you.
I eat olives and arugula standing up in the kitchen,
wearing nothing except underwear and pearls.
I do not recognize myself.
Being sad only makes me thirsty.
I drink two glasses of water, take an aspirin,
dance with myself slowly in the living room.
Everything comes back to me in moments—
flashes of your skin, the freckles on your chest,
your perfect wrists, a kneecap, the small of your back.
I peel away the sadness to get down to the pit of the thing
and can never quite manage to finish it.
My hands smell like oranges, clove cigarettes.
Pounds of sadness. I get out of bed. I run the bath.
Chocolate shavings and blueberries for lunch.
Little things, but I am handling it.
Yesterday, I almost called you to tell you that I love you,
but then I remembered I’m not allowed to say it anymore,
and it is awful. You are with me even when I brush my teeth.
Birds and bugs! some tattoo designs.
These are designs for me to do, so please don’t use without permission.